WhAtEvEr

Ok so yesterday someone(Yes Yes!This someone was a male) asked me for sudjestions for TATTOOS.

My opinion on the matter: I don’t like it.

Not because it hurts but because tattoo is nothing but a color painted wound. Yes, thats what a tattoo is….You pay somebody to WOUND you. Think about it Is stupid. We are not papper. Although I like rock stars with their arms tattooed all the way up and down, they made millions!They are never gonna need to find a DESCENT work. Thats right…DESCENT. If you are not a rock star a tattoo is pretty much out of line.

I don’t care about it though. I have my reasons I am not doing it…

First of all…Its permanent. I don’t like any kind of art after a sort period of time so that means I am gonna hate it afterwards.

Second of all…I wanted to tattoo angel wings on my back although if you really think about it…I wont be able to see it unless I am looking in a mirror…So whats the reason of doing something to yourself if you can’t see the art ON you?

And Last…It costs too much for something THAT cheap*. What I mean by cheap is…I haven’t seen manny tattoos that look well…like ART. You see a fairy in a girl’s waist or lower abdomen and I can’t help but think to myself…THAT could also be tattooed in a prostitute. You see a guy with a skull on his arm and you go like…He is a skunk. And I am not saying this for everyone. There are certain people who’s lifestyle allows tattoos. Like artists. That includes actors,singers and so on and so on…Also football players and athletes and such.

So yeah go ahead and do whatever you want with your skin or body. Open another 5 holes if you wish…You have the right to, I still have the right to think Its stupid.

HOW THE HELL WE WIND UP LIKE THIS?

So here I am thinking again what would’ve been like if we where together…You know…I would have been with him now if he…Wasn’t who he is…

If he wouldn’t end it we would be together now…I would go visit for 4 days,no work, no distance seperating us, but instead I am here,wearing his T-shirt-the one he gave me and smells like him- listening to “Someday” by Nickelback and wishing for the best-worse end there can be…

I wish we could get over ourselfes and make things work…

I am not sure why I wish for that…Even if he wants us back together I am not going back. I can’t…

my pride wont let me…

Its more than a shame we couldn’t make it to a better end.

And this is the part where…Where I have to say I miss him so much and it hurts like hell when I think of the days we’ve spend together.

God,these memories…

…rip my heart off.

I can’t breath

It might sound weird but I mean it when I say “I can’t breath”. I walk around light-headed and dizzy and somehow I can’t breath…

It might have been a panic attack the other day and today it might have been the air or something…But I can’t.

A few months months back I said to a guy “I can’t breath without you”.

I wonder if he still remembers.

I wonder if he ever thinks of me. If he thinks the nights, the times we where together and how much I loved him.

I know that we wouldn’t feel good if we didn’t know how feeling bad,feels like…If that makes sence… So I guess I am supposed to feel bad in order to feel good at some point.

But I am starting to worry, that’ll never will…And I am scared.

I am really scared. And I need from someone to come and tell me that everything is Ok and that this guy I am falling for will be with me and that he loves me…