Out of line

Its weird how much I expose myself to depressing things…For no reason…Just for the sake of feeling something more than mediocrity? I don’t know if we know what really mediocrity really feels like…Its like the tip from a cigarete after smoking it…In the ashes…Half dead…Not able to start a fire with his warmth….Slowly…Torturing itself.

Thats how I feel right now…Like a cigarete in the damn ashtray…With no power to start a fire….Make a last try die properly.I can’t feel happy but I can’t say I am depressed in a point where I wanna kill myself. Witch to me is weird cause I am usualy either at the bottom or….Really Really nice…

I can’t stand being at the middle.